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10 Conference Call Phrases That Should Stay on Mute

The Zoom boom comes with some unique new irritations.

Zoom, FaceTime, Houseparty, Microsoft Teams and many other video-calling tools have all grown to be a part of our daily routines. What would quarantine life even be like without these communication apps? 

By now, it’s safe to say that we are all conference-call experts in the workplace. But the toll this new tech is taking on our sanity may be severe. Let’s take a look at ten of the conference-call phrases we could all go without ever hearing again.

1) Hi, is this everyone?

BEEP Boop.

“It’s Larry. CAN YOU HEAR ME?” 

“I can see you but I can’t hear you”

“IS CAROLINE HERE YET?”

“Oh, you’re frozen.”

“OK, WELL I HAVE A FEW THINGS TO DISCUSS BEFORE SHE GETS HERE.”

Everyone shows up.

2) Soooo. How was everyone’s weekends?

Seven voices speak at once.

Then no one speaks.

3) Sorry, I was on mute.

Also I wasn't paying attention to anything you just said and I need a minute to guess.

4) Can you email that to everyone?

Come to think of it, could this whole call have just been an email?

5) Can you go on mute if you’re not talking?

Do us all a favor and spare us your dog barking, kid screaming and neighbor doing yard work. Not being on mute is the new reply-all.

6) Can I stop you for just one minute please?

Let’s try to not be here for an extra 45 minutes if possible. 

7) Can you hear me?

No. The answer is always no. 

8) Can somebody take notes?

Who wants to actually do work during this call today? 

9) We can circle back on this one.

Great. Another conference call. 

10) BOOP beep

Bye?

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