Dear Mom and Dad

Don’t judge me, but I listen to Howard Stern (and would argue that the aggressive sexual talk has diminished as he has gotten older). During the holiday break, they play the show’s highlights of 2015. One of the interviews featured a favorite of mine, Paul Rudd. His talk about the movie “Ant Man” and acting was interesting, but what I found even more interesting was his conversation about his dad, who had passed away.

Unfortunately, his death came in 2010, before Rudd got to act alongside Jack Nicholson in “How Do You Know.” As one of his dad’s favorite actors, Rudd said he would have gotten an absolute kick out of that moment. The way he talked about his dad was almost in the moment—as in, he was talking about what has come of him, as well as how he greatly appreciated the support of his mother, who just wanted him to be happy with whatever he did.

They were certainly proud parents.

It almost sounded as if Rudd was hoping he could have said what he said when they were both alive.

This got me thinking. What would I want to say to my parents 40 years from now (they would be turning 105) if I had the chance?

Here it is:

Mom and Dad: Thank you. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for having my back. Thank you for teaching me the good and the bad of this world. Without your guidance I would not be able to face every brick wall I face with the utmost confidence that not only will I break the wall, but I will shatter it.

I am not quite sure you truly understood the impact you had on my life. Sure, I am your son and naturally the love we have for each other is forever bonded through family. But, truly, your impact has been meaningful.

While talking with you, I have often wondered how you would rate your experience and success as parents. What grade would you give yourselves? Are you hard on yourselves? Do you not give yourselves enough credit? It’s OK to have a little ego as parents, you deserve it.

Had I not had the best childhood ever (within the four walls of my family), I would not be in the place I am today. I would not have learned how to be a great person, a great husband, a great father and a great partner. I connect these strengths to the two of you—as my guiders of this complicated world.

Your celebration style around holidays made my heart warmer. Whether you like it or not, you are the reason I start listening to Christmas music in October. You are the reason I believe in the power of love and happiness—and using those magical times of year to embrace it.

My family means the world to me. The smiles upon my wife’s and children’s faces warm my day, every day, even when the most frustrating moments occur. I feel as if you taught me joy and happiness. While I certainly enjoy the larger parts of life, the little things are just as important—and I know you gave me this.

My boys admire you. While Lennon is too little to vocalize it, I see his grin when he sees you. And Jagger—I am so grateful he is able to receive some of the same love that I received from most of my grandparents. Your impact will forever continue on—not just in my mind, but the minds of my children. They will tell their children about their great grandparents, and that story will continue on and on down the line. This is because you created that path. You decided to create a pathway of great memories for many generations to come.

Lastly, thank you both for being Saints. Now that I understand the destruction of a home two little boys can create, I appreciate you putting up with me and my brothers. That probably caused more than a few grey hairs.

So, thank you. Thank you just because. Thank you because I don’t ever want to regret not saying this to you before it’s too late. Thank you for the impact, legacy, trust and love that will continue on for many generations to come. You are incredible parents.

Rudd reminded me to continue to not take things for granted, or time. If time ended tomorrow, make sure you say “I love you” and “You are important to me” so that those who are around you will forever know the place you held in their hearts. More good = more good.

=happiness.