TED Talk Tuesday: The worst moments in our lives make us who we are

It’s a classic storyline: people are faced with major challenges, they overcome them, and they come out on the other side stronger than they were before. But even though that plot can be overdone in movies and books, it’s a cliché for a reason.

Writer and activist Andrew Solomon believes adversity is an essential part of being human. In his 2014 TED Talk, “How the worst moments in our lives make us who we are,” he explains how overcoming challenges helps us find meaning.

Solomon argues that when we experience any type of struggle or hardship it becomes a part of us. But it’s what we learn from those experiences, and how we forge meaning from them, that determines our identities.

“You need to take the traumas and make them part of who you’ve come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things that hurt,” Solomon said.

He uses his sexuality as an example. As a gay American, Solomon says he’s experienced prejudice and hatred. He even went to extreme lengths to try to be straight while he was growing up. But those experiences have all led him to where he is now. Solomon is an LGBT activist. He also married his longtime partner in 2007, which opened the door to children and the opportunity to create new identities.

There will always be challenges in our lives that need to be handled. But Solomon agues it’s when we make it through them that we’re able to forge meaning and grow. Then, when we have a better sense of who we are, we can invite other people in to experience it with us.

“Forging meaning is about changing yourself,” said Solomon. “Building identity is about changing the world.”

Click here to watch the original video.