Hamburglar Gets Hyper-Real Reboot No One Asked For

Grimace, Officer Big Mac, The McNugget Buddies – there was something for everyone. I mean, even the politically minded among us had Mayor McCheese!

My absolute favorite was always Hamburglar, though. A cherub-cheeked ginger more than willing to rob his friends for their cheeseburgers? Now that’s a man after my own heart.

So it’s with great trepidation that I now revisit my precious childhood memories by weighing in on McDonald’s' decision to reintroduce Hamburglar for a new generation.

This new iteration of the character is decidedly less cartoony. In fact, he kind of just looks like a lacrosse player in his mid-30s who decided to throw on a fedora, a black trench coat and a Zoro mask he picked up at the Dollar Store. He looks like he smells of Axe deodorant.

Maybe it’s just my childhood nostalgia talking, but I’m certainly not the only one who felt underwhelmed. Chalk it up to McDonald’s’ winning streak of late, I guess (heavy, heavy sarcasm).

"We felt it was time to debut a new look for the Hamburglar after he’s been out of the public eye all these years," Joel Yashinsky, McDonald's' vice president of U.S. marketing, told Mashable. "He’s had some time to grow up a bit and has been busy raising a family in the suburbs and his look has evolved over time."

At least he’s not rocking cargo pants. Right, Ronald?