In life, the only secrets that remain secrets are those that go untold.
Do you know someone who has ever cheated on their wife or husband (yes, that’s an amazing way to start off a column)?
How do you know that? Or rather, why do you know that?
Rarely are people busted in the act of committing this marriage sin. Rather, they open their big-fat-mouths and tell someone. In life, the only secrets that remain secrets are those that go untold—not to your best friend, not to anybody.
The inspiration for this thought is the recent University of Louisville sex scandal that’s quickly gaining more attention (thanks to the likes of “Outside the Lines” starting to dig up more and more information). As the story goes, Louisville’s head basketball coach Rick Pitino knows nothing (that’s what he claims)—but remember, this is the same coach who had sex with a woman on a restaurant table back in 2003 (another scandal). According to Katina Powell, who published a book a few months ago, Andre McGee, Louisville’s director of basketball operations, arranged strip parties through her, paying $10,000 to bring “dancers” in for recruits (a clear NCAA violation, duh). He also arranged “side deals” (sex) for the recruits.
So, you have a coach who knows nothing; a director who leveraged sex to recruit; a whistle blower who wrote a book; and tons of “anonymous” sources who have come forward saying that these things happened during recruiting. Hmm, sounds like the truth is starting to come out and more importantly, duh.
Listen, when you tell your secret to just one person, you are trusting that one person to never tell a soul. The fact is, though, we live in a world of drama—drama on TV, drama in our personal lives, drama everywhere.
Why do you know someone cheated? Because their insides were so eaten up they had to tell someone; or, because they are a dumbass and celebrated the cheat.
Now, let’s connect this back to business: The power of the non-disclosure agreement (NDA).
In the role I am in, I am fairly good at keeping secrets (not perfect, but I try my best to abide by the ask of those providing details of “X”, ”Y”, or “Z”, to keep it to myself, provide only them with council, or use that classified information to better a situation quietly).
Classified information—how many times have you heard about that? Probably hundreds of times because the media has reported a leak. Why have they reported a leak? Because once you tell one person, it is no longer a secret.
The reality of secrets is that you better be real careful who you tell—or else someone may whistle blow or write a book. When you cheat, you cheat with someone else, and chances are one of the two of you are going to whistle blow to someone.
Do people not think they are going to get caught? Did Louisville think they could get away with dumb shit? Do cheaters, stealers and criminals think they won’t get caught?
If you are going to do dumb shit (steal, cheat, violate, lie) you better be prepared to not tell a soul, or else it may come full circle.
The better advice is: Don’t do dumb shit in the first place.