Powills: I’m Afraid of Dying, But Certainly Not Afraid of Living

I am afraid of death. Probably more today than ever before. As a child, I didn’t think much about it. Life was endless. Today, as I turn another year older this weekend, I am fearful of it. I understand that it is a reality for all of us and there isn’t much control we can have over it in the sense of timing. What we can control is the way we live life, the way we learn life and the way we treat others. My curiosity with death continues to help me find comfort with the life narrative I am living. I ask many questions about God, afterlife and purpose. I talk with friends and family about experiences and regrets. I am a gatherer of information. I sponge it together to try to make sense of the pure complexity of life. These resources provide me with incredible insight, or, rather, enough to make me pumped with living. While scrolling through my Facebook feed, I happened upon a great column on the five regrets people talk about before they die. These discussions happen during the second most vulnerable moment of a lifeline, death (with birth being the other). While consuming this information, I felt compelled to add my insights on top of the author’s to try to put life into as much perspective as possible through both the words she heard and the experiences I have had. This column is meant for those who strive to find a deeper purpose in life, those who thrive on treating people well and trying their best to do right. In no way shape or form am I am an expert at life. Nor am I saying I am perfect. I am saying I am interested in constantly doing better and hoping that by doing so positive karma will ensue. The five things people say in their last moments of life: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me” This is a tough one for many people – and many people I speak with. I am very interested in this statement because I feel I live my life true to myself. Often times, though, this gets me in trouble. I often speak my mind with a guiding principal of trying to inspire or change. Unfortunately, when I speak a true, real opinion, people are bound to be defensive. I am OK with this. “I wish I didn’t work so hard” When I read this, I pause. I know I work too much. And I worry about this. What if I work too much and life passes me by? This would be the case if I didn’t love what I did. A few weeks ago I wrote about loving what you do; change or quit if you don’t. There is nothing I would change about my work balance, however, with a beautiful son, I am positioning myself for the flexibility necessary to make sure I am there for him, to support him and have his back as much as humanly possible. To do so at No Limit, I carefully recruited someone I deeply trust to be our President. This has allowed me to increase my flexibility and enjoy meals with my son. For many of those I work with, whether founders, partners or franchisees – they have done the same. They have taken on a career where they are in charge of their time and their destiny. This is one of the beauties of franchising. If I were to die today, I would not feel regret for working as hard as I do. If I am working this hard when I am 50 and my son is 18, then I will have regrets for forgetting to stop and smell his life. I understand this and resolve to ensure this doesn’t happen. “I wish I had the courage to express my feelings” I mentioned this above, but I think this is the double-edged sword in life. I tell everyone I know to always be honest and speak the truth, whether about their feelings or even about white lies. Speak the truth and speak your feelings, that’s the only way you can continue to improve. However, when you decide to speak openly, seek to do so kindly. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends” Thankfully, our world has technology to help support this. But keep those friendships sincere. I don’t have a ton of time for friends outside of my business and industry friends, as I carve my free hours out for my family. I am OK with this, however, this is probably a very important lesson to learn. Learn to love those who love you, make sure you always have people’s backs, and be the best person you can. By doing so, you will probably have many unexpected people in your life who appreciate this as their friendship. “I wish I had let myself be happier” Anyone who knows me would say I am a happy person. They would probably say I prank too much, but they would label me as happy (I hope). I can’t say that everyone in my life has this same outlook, but I would encourage you to find happiness in every thing you do. Find it in your work, in your honesty, in your free time. You will have bad days, but keep them as bad moments, not ongoing. I know I am going to die. This is inevitable. However, I am not going to be afraid to live, to be honest, to be happy, and to try to do better. While others will try to hold you down, don’t let them. Find ways to live the life you deserve, or else you will be saying one of the lines above when you pass.